Sunday, February 28, 2010

Truth Without Artificial Sweeteners

Is it possible to be honest but not truthful?

I once knew a man whose motto was, “I’m an honest person”. He weaved it into conversations as often as he could. It seemed so noble. As I spent more time with this man, I realized that he was honest in so much as he could openly discuss his life but he wasn’t always truthful.

He often told partial truths or by omission, led others to believe things that weren’t true at all. Finally, I questioned everything he said. I wondered if the stories he told were true, partly true or not true at all.

To be honest is to be sincere or frank but to be truthful is to conform to the actual condition of a matter.

This friend of mine, was sincere. He wasn’t trying to be malicious. He was also frank. He wasn’t afraid to say things that might hurt feelings or be perceived as harsh. He was honest, but not always truthful.

Like a shot of tequila, truth, raw and unsweetened, goes down with a sting; but after the sting goes away, the exhilaration that follows a good dose of truth makes you want more.

Without truth there can be no trust.

There’s nothing that delivers insecurity to a relationship like the uncertainty that the other person is being truthful. It is our own selfish endeavors and hunger for approval that causes us to shrink back from telling the truth... in all its glory or horror.

However, when we dodge full disclosure of truth to maintain the approval of another, we forfeit that very approval and trust is eroded as a result of sidestepping the truth.

The truth hurts sometimes. It may mean that life will change but if we say it, if we face it head on, no matter how ugly or painful it may be, the reinforcement of trust builds a stronger relationship as pride moves off center stage.

The people I respect the most are those who speak truth, not a syrupy coating to coddle my feelings, but straightforward truth, even though they aren’t sure I will receive it well.

Truth dispels illusion. It diminishes the inflated places in our minds that have accepted things that look real but are in fact, counterfeit.

To be honest, we gotta tell the truth. 

2 comments:

Shannon said...

the truth hurts, but it's so much less painful than lies.
i definitely needed these words today, thank you!

Ang said...

"Like a shot of tequila, truth, raw and unsweetened, goes down with a sting; but after the sting goes away, the exhilaration that follows a good dose of truth makes you want more."

... ok.. so not a fan of the tequila... too much, too fast and there isn't exhilaration that follows... more like a volcano that errupts shortly after. not pleasant. ugh! lol.