Could I Love Another?

We met last Saturday afternoon. We have a mutual friend who has wanted to hook us up since I moved to the east coast nearly 3 years ago.

After an awkward introduction via a trolley ride through a shady neighborhood, I began to feel more comfortable. Blind dates offer the intrigue of the unknown but the unfamiliar is also one of the drawbacks.

He was kind and spoke with a heavy accent that is prejudiced against pronouncing the letter “R”. It was most noticeable when he mentioned “pawking the caw”. Translation: parking the car. We strolled through The Commons taking note of the leaves on the trees in varied shades of green, gold and deep red. The autumn breeze caused them to whisper gently while the fading sun made them shimmer like paper coins. Some floated to the ground as they complete their death, others still holding to what life they have left. We continued on for a soup and ice cream at Quincy Market. He carried a solid stance that projected a sense that he wouldn’t succumb to impulsive whims.

When darkness crept in on the day, we took the train past a few more stops. We entered through the gates and took a peek at Harvard yard. The sidewalks weaved between brick buildings that have housed intellects for hundreds of years. For a second I felt as though I was back in New Haven. It was reminiscent of the Yale campus. After a late dinner at an outdoor pub, we parted ways (because I don’t sleep with boys on the first date).

Pondering this long anticipated first date, it was romantic. Yet, something is missing.

Meeting Boston was nothing like meeting New York. It wouldn’t be fair to compare them however; I didn’t feel the instant connection with Boston that I felt with New York. I felt strength and surety in Boston but my heart did not leap inside me. I didn’t have the feeling of being more alive every minute we were together as I have when spending time with New York. With New York, there is passion and tension whether we are together or apart. I fell hard for New York from the moment we met.

Maybe I should give Boston more time and invest in getting to know him. Maybe I am scared of loving a new city. Maybe if I let it, my love for him will grow but right now, my heart is still with New York.