Unexpected Surprise #2

20 Feb 2009

I’m on an eastward trajectory in First Class at 39,004 feet over Prescott, Arizona.  I need to decompress and digest the week behind me.  A big decision lies ahead of me. One I never thought I would ever consider. It’s strange how, when the right circumstances pop up, things inside begin to shift and ‘never’ becomes ‘maybe’ and then ‘maybe’ becomes ‘I could do that’ and the softening of a tight grip allows room for change. What I said I would NEVER do, where I said I’d NEVER live, and the desires I NEVER had may be changing slowly but steadily. It’s bizarre how that works.

I settled in Connecticut over 3 years ago. I can’t believe it has been that long ago. I thought I had finally found the place that I would live for many years to come. I had high hopes for building a life and maybe even a family there. I love the area. I love the proximity to New York. I love the way of life and the aura of New England. The landscape is lovely and gives the feel of being rural while never too far out of the way. For me, it’s a perfect mix of city and country life. Connecticut felt like home from the start. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t looking around for the next place to go. I had no desire to continue the lifestyle of a nomad. After buying my home, I felt like I was on a path to moving forward in my life from the place of having roots. I had never felt like that before. For so many years, I was buzzing around from state to state, searching for a place to put down the landing gear and when I moved to Connecticut, I found the spot that fit just right.

I wasn’t looking for a change in location.

THEN an email showed up in my inbox, UNEXPECTEDLY. It was from the owner of the consulting company that I have worked for over the past 2 years. Having a vision for change within his own organization, he laid out a new opportunity for me. (Thanks to corporate budget cuts and an economy that has taken a nosedive, my position as a consultant for a health insurance corporation, was eliminated about a month ago.) Management experience, college paid for, growth for me and growth for the company oh and by the way, a move to California.

When I read the email, I immediately got excited. Something in me was shockingly open to this. I’ve always maintained a disdain for California beyond a short-term vacation. It’s the one state that I never wanted to live in, never had a desire at all. In fact, in the past, the boss-man had mentioned a few times, moving to California to work for him but I blew him off, never even considering it. I have no idea why this time was different. Maybe it was having a tangible position outlined in writing or maybe God has been slowly working in me without me even realizing it.

After thinking through all the pros and cons at a very high level, I began to talk myself out of it. Being the pessimist that I am, I found satisfaction in shooting down my own optimism. I went to California one week ago looking for more reasons to slam on the brakes. As much as I embrace the new and exciting, I also love routine, habit and comfort. I consciously made an effort to be open and willing. It’s safer and less vulnerable to stick with the predictable versus stepping out into the unknown.

After spending a week on location, poking around and getting a feel for what the job is all about, what the company is all about, who the personnel are, and seeing the area, I found that it’s not as scary as I had originally thought. California is still not my favorite place but it’s also just a place. Similarly, as great as Connecticut is to me, it's just a place as well. I have taken a 180 degree turn. I could see myself making this move. It would be hard, it would take everything that I am but it would cause growth and change and probably other unexpected surprises. So many things would need to fall into place for this to become my reality. Some that seem impossible right now. It's not a done deal yet, I'm just moving forward one step at a time with an open heart to see what happens.

I had no idea that when I began the year with a theme of unexpected surprises that something so major would show up on the radar just a few weeks into the new year.

All I know is that right now my flight path is bound for the east coast and whether I’m going home for good or only for a transitional window of time, I don’t know; but the view is far beyond what I could have imagined.