Friday, December 31, 2010

The Last Chapter of 2010

At the start of this year, I felt like “story” was to be the theme.

2009 was the year of “unexpected surprises”. All of 2009 echoed that motif and when it was time to flip the calendar, I was excited about the story that would be told in 2010. I should have known that the story would read far different than I anticipated and would be filled with twists that I didn’t see coming.

There were unpredicted turns in all areas of my life.

I spent two-thirds of the year unemployed and survived on my savings. I writhed in uncertainty and floundered with little direction. There were speed bumps and U-turns and detours that kept my head spinning and my heart mangled. There are many pages that could have been written differently and many days that could have been lived better. My goals went M.I.A as my decisions were paralyzed. I waited, as if some unidentified shooting star would give me a clue. What I “should” do wrestled with what I really want for my life. Desire vs. Reality smack-down.

I traveled more this year than I have in any 12 months, ever. From the beaches of Key West to the shores of Whidbey Island, I saw the beauty of this great land from coast to coast. There’s something about experiencing the diversity of values and lifestyles and accents of different regions that filled me with a new sense of pride in my country and appreciation for life.

The story of 2010 wasn’t a best selling thriller but never the less, I learned that when my expectation does not get the desired result, it is what I choose that creates the turning point which allows the story to take off in a new way.

I uncovered new dimensions in my own character and polarizing people and even a triangle of love. After all, a good story involves love being pulled in multiple directions. Story is about choices. In 2010 I made some good ones and some not so good ones. Story is fraught with crisis. There was plenty of inner conflict and interpersonal conflict and conflict of physical and financial limitations.

But the magic of story that gripped me in 2010 is the contrast of what happens outwardly, on the surface, the seen parts of life verses what is happening on the inside, the feelings, thoughts and truth that lie underneath what is seen. There is always something else going on. Nothing is as it seems.

Knowing there is more than what I can see in any given situation is the hope that pushes me into 2011. 
The story isn’t over but the next act sure is in need of a miracle.  

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