Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Dropping Insecurities of Old

Talking with a friend this week, we began to discuss how insecurities are manifested in older generations such as our parents. As we compared our experiences and our perceptions of our parents’ insecurities, I had to stop and consider the ways in which these same things have been inadvertently passed on to me.

There are things that we inherit, not because we have discovered them to be true or untrue for ourselves but because that is all we have known or how we’ve been taught. These are not things that were directly taught to us but rather ways of thinking that were instilled in us indirectly by example. These things are not always easy to spot. Most pocket sized insecurities, we are unaware of.

Maybe it’s the way I respond to someone who doesn’t return my phone call. Maybe it’s the conclusion I assume when someone doesn’t invite me to his or her home. Maybe it’s the way I lose trust in someone who hasn’t appreciated my kindness. Maybe it’s the way I place expectations on people or situations that are unrealistic and then I lose faith when I’m let down. Maybe it’s the way I self-protect so I’m not disappointed.

If I’m not intentional about dissecting the things in my life that I have picked up and carried with me, then I run the risk of maintaining a cycle of generational insecurities. I have plenty of my own junk. I cannot be all of who I am if I am packing baggage from a previous generation.

As I got off the phone with my friend, I realized that questioning the root of my insecurities is something that is necessary in my life. If I don’t develop a way of thinking that questions my own ingrained thought patterns, it will limit growth in my life.

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